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Cryptocurrency markets can be a rollercoaster ride, and while it’s essential to stay informed and make informed decisions, a little humor can go a long way in keeping your sanity intact.

In this article, we’ll share some cringy but insightful tips to help you survive and thrive in the crypto world in 2024.

Crypto plan 2024

Tip #1: Diversify, But Don’t Become a “Crypto Buffet”

Diversification is akin to spreading your risk across different assets in your crypto portfolio. Imagine it as ordering a variety of dishes at an all-you-can-eat buffet to savor different flavors. However, it’s crucial not to overindulge to the point where you can’t enjoy any of it. Over-diversifying can lead to confusion, tracking difficulties, and higher trading fees.

The key is finding a balance that works for you. Start with a core selection of well-established coins like Bitcoin and Ethereum, then sprinkle in a few promising altcoins that you’ve researched and believe in. The goal is to achieve a mix that aligns with your risk tolerance and investment goals, allowing you to navigate the crypto markets without getting overwhelmed.

Tip #2: Hodl Like Your Wi-Fi Depends on It

Hodling is more than just a meme; it’s a mantra for many crypto enthusiasts. When the market experiences turbulence, it’s easy to panic and make rash decisions. Imagine your cryptocurrency as your Wi-Fi connection during an important video call – you wouldn’t want to disconnect right when things are getting interesting. The same principle applies to your investments.

Instead of reacting impulsively to market fluctuations, take a step back, and remember why you invested in the first place. Are you in it for the long haul? If so, stay patient, and trust in the potential of your chosen assets. Hodling can help you ride out the storms and reap the rewards when the market stabilizes.

Tip #3: DYOR: Do Your Own Research (and Don’t Just Google ‘Crypto Predictions’)

When it comes to crypto, ‘DYOR’ (Do Your Own Research) should be your mantra. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking quick answers by typing ‘Crypto Predictions’ into Google. However, that’s akin to asking a colorful parrot for financial advice – you might get entertaining answers, but they won’t necessarily lead to wise decisions.

Effective research involves delving deep into a project’s whitepapers, understanding its team, technology, and roadmap, and staying updated on news and community sentiment. Make use of reputable crypto news websites, forums, and social media channels to gather information. Remember, investing without proper research is like jumping into a pool without checking if there’s water – it’s a surefire way to get rekt.

Tip #4: Don’t FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), Embrace JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)

FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out, can be a powerful force in the crypto world. It’s that nagging feeling that you’ll miss out on the next big thing if you don’t buy in right away. However, FOMO often leads to impulsive decisions, like buying at the peak of a pump. Instead, embrace JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out, and use it to your advantage.

JOMO allows you to make rational decisions based on your strategy rather than emotions. It’s about being content with your investment choices and resisting the urge to chase after every hyped-up token. By staying disciplined, you’ll be better equipped to make informed decisions and avoid getting caught up in the hype-driven frenzy that can lead to rekt portfolios.

Bitcoin heirloom

Tip #5: Secure Your Crypto Like a Treasured Family Heirloom

Your cryptocurrency holdings should be treated with the same level of care and attention as your grandma’s priceless china collection. In the digital world, this means prioritizing security. Start by using strong, unique passwords for your exchange accounts and wallets. Enable two-factor authentication (2FA) wherever possible to add an extra layer of protection.

Consider using hardware wallets, which are like the safes for your crypto assets. They keep your digital treasures offline, away from potential online threats. Remember, in the crypto realm, there are always digital pirates looking for vulnerabilities to exploit. By fortifying your defenses, you can keep your assets safe from prying eyes and malicious actors.

Tip #6: Expect the Unexpected: Prepare for the Unexpected Bull Run (and Crash)

In the ever-changing world of cryptocurrency, one thing remains constant – change itself. Even in the said-to-be crypto bull market in 2024, the market can surprise you with sudden bull runs and dramatic crashes, often when you least expect it. Imagine crypto as a wild rollercoaster – thrilling and unpredictable. The key is to be prepared for both the adrenaline-pumping highs and the stomach-churning lows.

Having a well-defined plan is your compass in these volatile times. Decide in advance when you’ll take profits or cut losses. Stick to your strategy, whether the market is soaring or plummeting. Emotional decision-making is the quickest way to get rekt. Stay resilient, stay informed, and remember that crypto is a long-term game.

Tip #7: Beware of Scammers in the Bull Market Jungle

In a bull market, scams multiply like rabbits in a carrot garden. As the crypto world gets flooded with excitement and optimism, scammers emerge from the shadows to exploit unsuspecting investors. The surge in market activity provides them with the perfect camouflage to operate under. Whether it’s enticing airdrops, alluring mint events, or irresistible prize promotions, scammers will employ various tactics to part you from your hard-earned crypto.

To navigate this jungle safely, remember this mantra: “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Always approach unsolicited offers with skepticism, verify the authenticity of projects and individuals, and prioritize your security above all else. Scammers thrive on impulsive decisions and misplaced trust.

By staying vigilant and educating yourself about common scam tactics, you can safeguard your crypto assets during the 2024 bull market.


In the crypto world, a good laugh can be just as valuable as a solid strategy. By following these funny but insightful tips, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the crypto seas in 2024.

Remember, while crypto can be volatile and unpredictable, with the right approach, you can aim to “HODL” your way to success without getting “rekt.”

Onward and upward!

Disclaimer: This article is meant for entertainment purposes and should not be considered financial advice. Always consult with a financial advisor and conduct thorough research before making any investment decisions in the cryptocurrency market.

About The Author


Owner of Since 2013, he's been immersed in the world of cryptocurrencies and has become an avid NFT collector since 2019. Also an NFT artist, he is a lifelong learner of mixed-media artwork creation.